At Last a Doctor You Can LOVE!!!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? !
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best! feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

NOAH TODAY In the year 2012, the Lord came unto Noah,Who was now living in the USA and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over -populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me." "Build another  Ark and save 2 of every living thingAlong with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the  Ark before I will Start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah Weeping in his yard - but no  Ark. "Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!Where is the  Ark?" "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed." "I needed a Building Permit." "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector About the need for a sprinkler system." "My neighbours claim that I've violated theNeighbourhood By-Laws by building the  Ark in myBack garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to Go to the Local Planning Committee for a decision." "Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the Passage for the  Ark's move to the sea. I told them That the sea would be coming to us, but they would Hear nothing of it."   "Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban On cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl." "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I Needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!" "When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was Confining wild animals against their will. They Argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and It was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in A confined space." "Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the  Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study On your proposed flood."  "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm Supposed to hire for my building crew." "Immigration are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work."   "The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They Insist I have to hire only Union workers withArk-building experience."   "To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally With endangered species."   "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 Years for me to finish this  Ark."   "Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, And a rainbow stretched across the sky."   Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?" "No," said the Lord. " The Government beat me to it."

Anthem for Activists

I have principle and no power
You have power and no principle
You being you
And I being I
Compromise is out of the question
So let the battle begin ...

I have truth and no force
You have force and no truth
You being you
And I being I
Compromise is out of the question
So let the battle begin ...

You may club my skull
I will fight
You may crush my bones
I will fight
You may bury me alive
I will fight
With truth running through me
I will fight
With every ounce of my strength
I will fight
With my last dying breath
I will fight ...
I will fight till the
Castle that you built with your lies
Comes tumbling down
Till the devil you worshipped with your lies
Kneels down before my angel of truth.

By Bhuchung Sonam,
an alumnus of M.S.University, Baroda.

Feasting After Fasting!! Best Haleem and Biryani Joints in Hyderabad- Times of India Contest!!!

Eid Mubarak! Feasting After Fasting!! Best Haleem and Biryani Joints in Hyderabad- Times of India Contest!!!

A Very Happy Eid to All

Not long ago Ramazan was a month for Rozas (fasting), Tarawi (recitation of the Quran), all night prayers and all round piety.  

Of late, Ramazan in Hyderabad seems to have acquired an additional hue: of Feasting, especially on Haleem! Mega Iftar Parties (for breaking the fast in the evening) and all night shopping!!!

A friend who is not very familiar with the Muslim religious practices last year asked me very innocently as to when the month of feasting will come as he was dying for Haleem (a delicacy that is available in every nook and corner of the city during the month of Ramadan but difficult to get in the other months).He could not believe when I informed him that Ramadan is actually a month for Fasting!   

But Hyderabadis with a history of Ganga Jamuni Tahzeeb (tradition of synthesizing diverse cultures) have succeeded in beautifully blending the Rozas with Haleem and Fasting with Feasting!!! Now in Hyderabad, Ramazan is as much about Rozas as about Haleem!!

No wonder Times of India is  organising Biryani and Haleem Contest for the past few years during Ramadan to adjudge the best joints in Hyderabad for Haleem and Biryani(another Hyderabadi delicacy). This year the contest was organised on 27th October 2011. To know winners for the Best Haleem and the Best Biryani in Hyderabad, please read on......

A MEMORABLE MEHFIL Giving an all new meaning to the adage Music be the food for love,the grand finale of the Times Biryani and Haleem Contest was one that saw prominent Hyderabadis relish yummy fare and Sufi music.The guestlist included tinseltown stars,top cops,bureaucrats,dignitaries and socialites.Guests bonded over the mouth-watering delicacies and conversations revolved on whose biryani and haleem was the best.Actress Soumya,Jayesh and Rucha Ranjan,Akun Sabharwal,Soumya Mishra,Mohammed Ali Baig,Sherry Jhaveri and son Aleem, Mazher Hussain, Hasnain Saberi, Raunaq Yar Khan,Gita and Uma Karan,Prasoona Reddy,Aanchal,Manjula Narsa,Bani Ahuja,Aamer Javeed,Mehjabeen, Shweta Keerti graced the do and cheered on the qawwali singers Sabri Brothers who crooned tracks like Maula re, Dama Dam Mast Kalandar etc. And the Winners!! Best Haleem: Shah Ghouse- 1st Runner Up: Pista House- 2nd Runner Up: Sarvi Best Biryani: Jewel of Nizam (Hotel Golconda)- 1st Runner Up:Paradise- 2nd Runner Up: Four Seasons A Raje and Deeksha Marur

Mazher Hussain's Interview; Times of India

Times of India

30^th August 2011

Mazher Hussain

Divisive Politics Won’t Work in Old City 

Bushra Baseerat TNN 

 Hyderabad: It was soon after Hyderabads worst riots in 1991 that left 150 dead and hundreds others injured, Mazher Hussain got himself involved in the relief works in the Old City for the first time. Now, two decades later, as the director of Confederation of Voluntary Associations (Cova), an NGO based in the Old City, Hussain says the asal city is in need of an image makeover.
Having worked at the grassroot level for 14 years, he says that Old City has been a victim of political agendas. Political parties bank on communal grounds and not on development. The issue of lack of civic amenities here is glaring considering the big difference between the amount of funds allocated for carrying out development works here and other parts of the city.
Hussain, 50, maintains that the image of the Old City has taken a severe beating over a period of time. If the bias in government and political circles against it is not enough, residents here lack the assertiveness needed to bring about any change. He adds that the general perception that only Muslims stay in Old City is incorrect, as a considerable 30 per cent of the population here is represented by all other communities. And today, Old City, which earlier extended up to Barkas, has expanded further and become more composite.

Insisting that the government policy makers need to change their mindset, he says: Old City is treated as an unnecessary appendage. There is not much investment, be it on development, human resources or infrastructure. This software businessman turned-social worker says that efforts are on to get people into governance and bring about a change in the system. People isolate Old City and look at it as a different world altogether, which is not correct, he adds.

And illiteracy still prevails. Over a lakh children are forced to work. This figure is often misrepresented as girl child labour is invisible child labour, he says adding that several families are living in pathetic conditions in this part of the city.

On the positive side, Hussain says that there has been a silent but decisive socio-economic revolution taking place here in the last few years, courtesy the economic boom and funds flowing from the Middle East. According to him, there is more emphasis on education as youngsters are trying to do their graduation in more numbers, which was not the case so far. Most importantly, he says that communities have come to a general understanding that fighting has no kind of positive outcome and Hyderabad has experienced a period of relative peace. Sooner or later, politicians are bound to realize that divisive politics is not going to work, he concludes.